Monday, December 28, 2009

Honesty

As many of you might already know, a few weeks ago I talked about gaining weight. I did gain those last few pounds (they were probably all chocolate! haha..) But reaching my "goal weight" started a whole new problem. I have been struggling. No, I haven't lost weight. I have had a completely different struggle all in its own. Ever since my problems started, I was a avid calorie counter. After I saw a Dietician I counted food groups.  Sadly, I have reverted back to calorie counting.  The number I have stayed at is a number to maintain my current weight. I have met that "goal" every day. The thing is, I don't want to have a "goal", I don't want to plan meals, I don't want it to be something to stress over.  Eating should be natural and enjoyed.  When did I loose this? I am happy with my weight and everything, but I think the whole reason behind counting is that I dont wait to GAIN or LOOSE weight.  How can I trust my mind, and my body to know what is right? I don't know what "normal eating" is.  Because of this, I have been searching for a different dietician to see.  I have an appointment tomorrow. I think this would be the answers to all my problems.  Someone who knows that they are talking about.  The funny thing is, my new dietician is a guy! I never thought that would happen. But in my opinion, I think a guy would be a lot more upfront and helpful (no offense to us girls), but I've always preferred male doctors!


WHEW! I had to get that off my chest.

So what have you all been eating? My family has been stuck with a million leftovers! As I mentioned before, when my grandma cooked beef, I brought chicken! I don't like to eat a lot of meat in one sitting (it still kinda gives me the creeps) so I have enough chicken for about a week! Last night I wanted to try something different!

I had a sandwich like this in a restaurant, and I loved it! I got 2 slices of bread. 4 OZ (cooked) chicken, Tomato sauce, and 1 OZ cheese! I just broiled it in the oven for a few minutes, and it was gooood to go!


and of course, I always start my days with oatmeal! I don't know what I'll do in the summer!





can you see the difference between fake and natural lighting?

I still haven't shown you guys a couple of my presents! Can you guess what they are? I'll *use* one later tonight!

have an amazing monday!

7 comments:

determinedtoshine said...

Learning to trust our bodies and listen to their signals is a difficult transition to make, so don't beat yourself up about reverting back to calorie counting. I think it is something that will happen over time. You have such a grea attitude towards your diet, I'm certain you'll be able to do it! And I hope the nutritionist turns out to be helpful for you.

Enjoy your day lovie!
Hannah xo

ps is one of your presents a camera?

Jenny said...

aw, Katey. It takes an incredibly strong person to be so open and honest and I admire you SO MUCH FOR THAT! I share the same struggles. I strive for normalcy in terms of eating -- and it's a hard thing to achieve.. especially when we have to be careful to monitor our weight so we don't "back slide". It's incredibly difficult, but I try to have a very close relationship with my body and it's hunger cues (yoga really helps with this!) It's difficult, and like anything - it takes time and practice, but I KNOW you can achieve this honey! Keep on fighting and you can do anything you set your mind to!!

moretolifethanlettuce said...

never in my life have i come across a male dietitian, cool! i'm interested to hear how it goes with him. about the calorie counting: i hope you can work with your new D to figure out a way to "eat intuitively." you probably know all about that already, but if you dont, google it or something, i think it could be the right approach for you...takes all the emphasis off of counting and trusts your body to gauge what/how much it needs.

Eleanor said...

It takes a lot to muster up the courage to be honest about wanting to ditch the calorie counting! That in itself is a huge challenge. I can definitely understand your fear; but you're doing something about getting rid of it! The new D sounds like a great idea, but even so, most of it has to come from you. Your body, somewhere, knows what it wants and needs. You mightn't be able to hear its every want and need just yet, but in time you'll be able to. Take it slow - it's about trust, and the sooner you learn to trust your body, the easier it will become.
I know you can do it. You've got the strength!

Love always,
Eleanor. xo

funnyemily said...

oh i am so glad you opened up about this dear! i know that i want the same thing, and how it is so difficult. it involves a lot of unknowns, but i think being aware that intuitive eating is what you want will really help you achieve it! i know you can do it :)
hope your appointment goes well tomorrow!!
happy monday!
xoxo

daintyvegan said...

Did you get a new cameraaa?? Pajamas? Hmm..

I'm the same way with calorie counting. I've been doing it for so long that I'm afraid to stop because it seems like I'll either eat too much or too little.

Good luck with your new Dietician!

tatiannalives said...

Katey!
I hope you get what you are looking for out of the appointment tomorrow -although I think you will find that you already have most of the education that he has to offer. When it comes down to it, our bodies are so complex that it is impossible to know how they will react to change.

Now that your body is physically healed, I think you need to trust the fact that your brain has enough nourishment to send you the correct signals. I know this is all easier said than done. You have risen up from your problem and achieved a healthy weight which is the most important thing overall - now you get to truly connect with your body and I think that if you try to embrace it, it will be a beautiful thing.

You are much stronger than you realize, and the new journey that lies ahead will be much less scary than you think :)

xox
Tat

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